When A Sports Coach Becomes a Sports Parent: Here’s What I Will Pay for in a Coach

Dear Coach,

 

I am so appreciative or your willingness to devote your career to helping empower kids through physical activity and sports.

 

I myself have been a youth coach for almost 25 years. About 6 years ago, I become a parent and now my daughter is loving all aspects of sports and physical activity. Now I take off my coach hat and spend my own limited resources of time, money, and energy taking her to others for guidance in different sports and activities.

 

 

She’s had experiences with coaches that have established a high value for my wife and I. These coaches’ impact on her health, happiness, and development leave no question in our minds as to our spending of resources. Their services will remain high on our priority list if time, money, and energy get short.

 

We’ve also experienced the opposite.

 

These positive and not-so-positive experiences have provided me valuable insight as to what a parent is looking for in a coach. I wish I could go back 25 years and read this letter! That’s why I’m writing it for you in hopes that this insight will help you positively impact more kids and families in the years to come.

 

I’ve learned that the following are key when it comes to me as a parent happily, willingly, and continually spending resources for my daughter to work with you as a coach.

 

1. You’re engaged in the process

I’m going to be honest. When I step away from my work, fight traffic, and spend money for a pro to work with my daughter, I expect you to want to be there. After all, you’ve chosen this as your profession, or at least your way to pay for food and a roof over your head.

 

How do I know you want to be here?

1. You know my daughter’s name and greet her when she walks in.
2. You display engaged body language. You don’t lean on equipment, look at your phone, fold your arms and slouch, or sit down. You might be tired, sad, or sick. That sucks! Stay home.
3. You coach. It’s obvious you are vested in your job. You really want kids to learn. You combine being a positive “cheerleader” with a desire to teach.
4. You smile. It’s so simple, but smiling is the easiest way to convey to other people, “I enjoy what I’m doing right now!”
5. You are visually engaged with who you are coaching. They’re not looking around at everything else going on.
6. You’re not afraid to talk to me as a parent. It shows that you’re obviously proud of your work and exude professional confidence when you take time to talk to me as a parent. Eye contact and a firm handshake doesn’t hurt either.
7. You display a sense of urgency. A coach that lazily saunters around obviously doesn’t value time and doesn’t invest energy well. Conduct yourself with intention.

 

(It’s funny. Even as I write this, I can picture in my mind specific experiences with both good and bad examples of all of the above.)

 

If you have years of experience and every degree and certification in the book, my hat comes off to you. You’re obviously a hard worker. However, if you don’t check off all of the boxes above, as soon as our initial commitment is finished, so are we.

 

2. You communicate with me

When I spend resources to have you work with my child, it’s a vote of confidence that we will receive something of value. This is what I’m investing in. Let me know how the investment is doing! What are you working on? What does my daughter enjoy? What does she do well? What does she struggle with?

 

Kids provide little to no feedback about an experience unless they REALLY love it, or REALLY hate it. If you don’t provide me some feedback as to what you are doing with my child, over time it becomes hard to formulate value.

 

This can happen in short interaction after a training session. It could be an email, text, a picture/video of my child working out, or a short conversation.

 

Please don’t try to prove your supreme intelligence. Assume I know very little about the development process. The simpler and more relevant you communicate, the better.

 

3. You inspire my child to do things that I can’t get her to do

Honestly, this is the most significant result I’m looking for from a coach for my child. There are those unrealistic parents that expect a program to make their child an overnight star athlete. In reality, these are the minority.

 

An overwhelming majority of parents, including myself, hold high value for coaches and mentors that inspire kids outside of their physical time with them. Can you get my daughter to eat her vegetables? Can you get her to clean her room or speak up when she talks to adults? My wife and I are always working with her on different things, but after a while I’m sure we sound like adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon to her.

 

From an actual athletic development standpoint, a coach that empowers personal responsibility, confidence, and a love for sports will inspire young athletes to embody the athletic process. If a few 60-minute sessions per week is actually going to impact athleticism, these sessions must inspire a child to work on things when a coach isn’t around.

 

If you want to maintain value to parents when time, money, and energy are short, make this an integral part of your program.

 

4. You are comfortable dealing with money

Coaches don’t coach to get rich. Unfortunately, this trivializes our business relationship with money. From a parent’s point of view though, if you trivialize my money, I trivialize my trust and respect for you. Remember, parents hold a high value for the resources of time, money, and energy.

 

Don’t trivialize the investment of any of these resources.

 

This isn’t an issue with most team sport coaches, but if you’re an individual coach, sessions should be consistently and clearly tracked. Don’t spring on me that all the sudden I owe you for sessions. Have a system that keeps me informed. It comes back to communication.

 

 

Honestly, I’d rather do an automatic debit program. It’s better for both of us. One less complication. The more complications you can remove from my life, the easier it is for me to continue using your service.

 

If you consistently create value by displaying all of the above, we’ll be happy to continue spending our limited resources to include you as part of my daughter’s lifelong development!

 

 

 

 

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